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Today in Alternate History



 

 

 

 

 

 

 

SNAKE OIL

 

By Doctor What

 

 

Chapter Five

 

If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.Dorothy Parker

 

~~

 

February 7, 2017

 

Travis O'Rear walked into his apartment and, with a loud sigh, threw off his backpack. It fell to the floor with an immense thump, spilling forth a few philosophy and political science textbooks from its open flap.

 

Kicking off his sneakers, he walked over to the mini-fridge and opened it up, grabbing his last beer.

 

As he cracked open the beer, he suddenly noticed that there was a foul and mysterious odor permeating the apartment.

 

What the HELL is that smell?

 

Could it be the dirty laundry?

 

Travis checked it. While it was certainly…ripe…it wasn’t that.

 

Sneakers?

 

Travis –very carefully—took a whiff of the sneakers.

 

Ok, Travis—you definitely need new sneakers for sure—but that wasn’t it.

 

Fridge? Maybe some food I left in there went bad?

 

Travis checked the fridge—then realized what an idiot he was.

 

In order for food to go bad in the fridge, there had to BE food in the fridge! All that was in there was a bottle of ketchup.

 

It seems to be coming from the…back of the sofa?

 

Hey—what the hell? So THAT’S where the last slice of pizza went!

 

Mmmm…..pizza….could really go for one right about now…

 

Ok—I’ll buy one soon—but first I gotta check out the board!

 

Travis walked down the corridor into his bedroom.

 

He hadn’t cleaned the bedroom since moving in last September and starting his first year at Baylor University. Not for the first time, Travis was annoyed at how quickly he had become a typical slobish student. I used to be a clean person. I used to make hospital corners. Now I don't even change the sheets anymore. The living room was actually considered ‘clean’ compared to what awaited any guest who walked into his bedroom.

 

Not that there’s any danger of that happening any time soon thought Travis, his face reddening a bit at the thought.

 

Shaking the thought away and sipping his beer, Travis sat down in front of his computer and logged onto his favorite – well – only forum he hanged out on.

 

It took only a few seconds for him to type in his password and log in as his username - TrustNo1.

 

In a matter of seconds, the page loaded up and he quickly scanned through the main page.

 

 

Conspiracy Forums       

 

Current Events              

Warning: The End is Here          by BillJustBill  today 7:11 AM

                                       

Social Engineering        

Is VISA the 666 Mark?               by IamNomad  today 11:15 AM

 

NWO Operatives         

Oprah’s child sex-slave cult         by Nite-Sister   today 5:12 AM

 

9/11, 7/7 & “War on Terror”                              

Cheney’s Secret Diary                  by truther    today  12:01 PM

 

Area 51 & Secret Bases                                     

Pine Gap Underground Entry?       by MistressDraka  today 1:14 PM

 

Lost Civilizations         

Humans & Dinosaurs together?      by Doctor What  today 11:45 AM

 

Paranormal & Unexplained                  

I think my friend works for Satan    by BubbuClinton today 3:22 AM

 

Aliens & UFOs            

Are the Visitors lying????                by LoneGunman  today  2:59 PM

 

Science & Environment                   

HAARP, Chemtrails and Water Pri...   by GirlsGoFishing  today 11:59 AM

 

Historical Conspiracies

The truth about Lincoln Assassin...       by deepthought  today 12:07 PM

 

Lounge

 

Chat                                

Who’s hotter—Wilma or Betty?           by Barbara99   today 5:52 AM

 

Introductions                   

Hi! I’m Ian!                                            by  aliengirl  today 6:45 PM

 

Conspiracy Singles -- Find love!                                    

Looking for a lesbian with big...            by Doctor What today   2:17 AM

 

 

Currently Active Users

aliengirl, Anonymous Coward, Anti-Skeptic, Aradia, ArtBellFan, Baba Yaga, Barbara99, BillJustBill, blackhelicopter, Boris III, BubbuClinton, CigaretteSmokingMan, Communist Gangster, Cypher, DarkMan, deepthought, Doctor What, EatsCrayons,

Evolved Reptoid, Hagbard Celine, IamNomad, Ice-9, IwasProbed, Jack D. Ripper,

JennaJamesonLives, Killuminati, LibertyLobbyist, LoneGunman, LooseYourMind,

MajorUrsa, Megatron, Minka, MistressDraka, Nite-Sister, Number 6, OtterBoy,

Robert Anton Wilson, soylent blue, Sovereign Citizen, SpankDMonkey, TemplarKnight,

Terence McKenna, Tiffany Susan Pompoms, truebeliever, TrustNo1, UbberGeek,

Ulick Varange, Warehouse23

 

 

Travis raised an eyebrow quizzically as he read the title of the latest thread in the UFO section.

 

Shrugging his shoulders, he clicked on the Are the Visitors lying???? thread.

 

Looking back years later, Travis would always wonder how a simple act like clicking a mouse would alter his entire life forever.

 

02/07/2017
At 14:52:18, Cypher wrote:
Trying this site in the hopes that I will get a better reaction here.

The Visitors are NOT doing this for altruistic reasons. They have an agenda. Our elected officials have SOLD out our countries to get all the goodies from them. The butcher’s bill will come soon and there will be a reckoning.
At 14:52:44, aliengirl wrote:
And the proof for this little delusion of yours is....?.

At 14:53:30, Cypher wrote:
I have friends. Friends who were there when the meetings took place. Trust me—this whole cover story about them needing our resources for their world is total BS.

At 14:53:52, blackhelicopter wrote:
Again—proof? You’ve got documents?

At 14:54:10, Doctor What wrote:
Don’t feed the troll, people. The ignore button is there for a reason.

At 14:54:37, blackhelicopter wrote:
C’mon Doc—let’s have a bit of fun with the freak! Go on Cypher!

At 14:54:38, Evolved Reptoid wrote:
So Cypher—you think that the Lytasians are reptoids too? Ha! I TOLD you guys I’m not the only one!
At 14:54:47, ArtBellFan wrote:
Aw Jeez
–AGAIN with the reptiles! ::rolls eyes::
At 14:54:55, Cypher wrote:
<sigh> You people are like all the rest. You have the scales on your eyes. But you’ll be sorry soon...

At 14:55:10, blackhelicopter wrote:
C’mon Cypher—show us the proof!

At 14:55:17, Anonymous Coward wrote:
Ban his Ass! LOL!
At 14:55:18, Evolved Reptoid wrote:
Hey ABFan—go screw yourslf! I’ve SEEN the reptoids so don’t tell me that I’m crazy!

At 14:55:19, IwasProbed wrote:
I was probed by the aliens. They did things to me. Things that will haunt me forever...
::sad::
At 14:55:37, Doctor What wrote:
Oh nice fucking job people! You’ve got Probe going off again! ::mad:: Kyle—look dude—AIM me—we’ll talk this through, buddy...
At 14:55:41, Cypher wrote:
blackhelicopter—I have an audiotape. My buddy had his cellphone with him and recorded the conversation.

At 14:56:11, blackhelicopter wrote:
Audiotape? How come no video?

At 14:56:14, aliengirl wrote:
Just an audiotape?

At 14:56:21, ArtBellFan wrote:
E-R –I can say whatever I want, ok? This crazy obsession with every freaking alien being a member of the reptoids is getting stupid! How many times do I have to tell you that the Nordics and the Reptoids are NOT the same!

At 14:56:24, Cypher wrote:
Yeah—just an audiotape. What—you wanted my pal to take out his camera and point it at the people while recording their conversation? ::rolls eyes::

At 14:56:39, aliengirl wrote:
So you got nothing! ::rolls eyes::

At 14:56:48, blackhelicopter wrote:
So—a scratchy audiotape with some voices saying something. Yeah—REAL believable, Cypher... ::rolls eyes::

At 14:57:11, Minka wrote:
Hey—I’ve got an audiotape with McCain admitting to having a torrid threeway love affair with Hillary and Obama back in 2008! :p;):D:eek:

At 14:57:53, BillJustBill wrote:
Oh god—the forks! Where the hell are the forks!

At 14:57:55, BubbuClinton wrote:
[Bill Clinton voice] And now you know why I did not have sexual relations with that woman...[/Bill Clinton voice]

At 14:57:58, Cypher wrote:
Why do I even bother? Fine! Be that way you assholes! But don’t say I didn’t warn you! Maybe I’ll have better luck convincing the guys over at paranoia.net

At 14:58:17, EatsCrayons wrote:

Pffft! Paranoia.netters are like Conspiracy.net4Kidz

At 14:58:41, OtterBoy wrote:
LOL! Good one, EC!

At 14:59:01, LoneGunman wrote:
sigged! :D


 

Travis stared at the messages for a moment, pondering whether or not he should join into the thread. Shrugging his shoulders, he started typing.

 

At 15:03:12, TrustNo1 wrote:
OK Cypher—try to convince me
At 15:03:27,
Hagbard Celine wrote:
Oh come on T! You can’t really think this guy is serious!

At 15:03:35, soylent blue wrote:
He’s just a troll! Take Doc’s advice people—ignore!

At 15:03:37, Cypher wrote:
You believe me?
At 15:03:52, TrustNo1 wrote:
Maybe not believe—but convince me.

At 15:04:03, Megatron wrote:
LOL! TrustNo1 is trusting the troll!

At 15:04:18, aliengirl wrote:
The Visitors are our friends! Why do you have to say such bad things about them?

At 15:04:25, Anonymous Coward wrote:
Ban his ass! LOL!

At 15:04:43, TrustNo1 wrote:
AC—you’re going on my ignore! C’mon Cypher..

At 15:05:28, Cypher wrote:
Told you—got an audiotape that has a bunch of bigwigs in DC arguing with some big poli types from Canada and UK. They’re all bitching about how the Visitors are screwing us over—asking for all kinds of deals and stuff in ‘exchange’ for their tech. They’re like fucking WalMart, man—our so-called ‘elected representatives’ are selling our souls for the tech.

At 15:05:57, blackhelicopter wrote:
And how come your ‘friend’ hasn’t taken this to the media?

At 15:06:10, Minka wrote:
Is this the same tape that also holds the confession that LBJ assassinated JFK?  <rolls eyes>

At 15:06:33, CigaretteSmokingMan wrote:
No that was me! ;)

At 15:06:55, LoneGunman wrote:
And me! :D

At 15:06:59, TrustNo1 wrote:
Knock it off guys! Let him reply!

At 15:07:05, Cypher wrote:

Tried taking to the media! They said that the tape was too ‘poor quality’ for use! ::mad::

At 15:07:35, OtterBoy wrote:
Riiiight—‘poor quality’… <rolls eyes>

At 15:07:55, TrustNo1 wrote:

Can’t clean it up?

At 15:08:33, Cypher wrote:
Tried to man—really shitty quality—and even if it *was* cleaned up—nobody will believe me
At 15:08:55,
Hagbard Celine wrote:
Cause it’s a fake, right? <rolls eyes>

At 15:09:05, soylent blue wrote:
Ignore people! Don’t feed the trolls! ::mad::

At 15:09:07, TrustNo1 wrote:
Why wouldn’t they believe?
At 15:09:12, aliengirl wrote:
I can’t believe we’re even listening to this guy. Reported.

At 15:09:23, Anonymous Coward wrote:
Ban his ass! LOL!

At 15:09:48, TrustNo1 wrote:
That’s it AC—welcome to my ignore list! ::mad::

At 15:09:55, Cypher wrote:
Why wouldn’t they believe me? This is a conspiracy website and you’re actually asking me why they wouldn’t believe me if I showed up with a tape that might implicate the people in the echelons of power?

At 15:10:13, MistressDraka wrote:
Maybe cause it’s a fake? <rolls eyes>

At 15:10:28, Anti-Skeptic wrote:
I believe you man! Don’t trust those Lytasians, man –they look too sneaky. (Psssst—I’ll distract him and lull him into a false sense of security—and you guys traq him! LOL!)

At 15:10:57, Anonymous Coward wrote:
This message is hidden because Anonymous Coward is on your ignore list.
At 15:10:58, Cypher wrote:
<sigh> I was thinking of posting the audio in the hopes that maybe *somebody* out will believe me but now…

At 15:11:13, CigaretteSmokingMan wrote:
Oh boo hoo—did the widdle troll get his feelings hurt? ;)

At 15:11:15, TrustNo1 wrote:
Ok Cypher—what other info you got to back this up? You gotta have something else? And how come your friend won’t back you up?

At 15:11:49, Number 6 wrote:
He has friends? ::eek::

At 15:13:14, Cypher wrote:

Cause my friend wasn’t suppose to have that phone with him! He smuggled it in and then he illegally recorded a conversation between some bigwigs! You have ANY idea how much his ass can be fried if he comes forward? Shit—even if nobody believes him just the fact that he comes forward with this story means that he’s fucked beyond all comprehension. Goodbye cushy job—goodbye pension—hello being charged with breaking about a zillion govt regs! That’s of course he doesn’t have an unfortunate ‘accident’ beforehand. The only reason I even have this tape is because he changed his mind and now wants nothing to do with it and I paid him 500 bucks for it on the condition that it never gets traced back to him.

 

Don’t believe me? Fine! But look around you sheeple! You can see all kinds of bits and pieces of the TRUTH out there! It’s a big puzzle but if you’re smart enough you can put it all together!

At 15:13:35, OtterBoy wrote:
Jeez—is this guy still here? <rolls eyes>

At 15:13:55, TrustNo1 wrote:

What pieces? What else is there?

At 15:14:09, The Big Bad Admin wrote:
Oh looky here—he’s on the Tor anonymity network

 

Tor is a network of proxy servers, with the enhancement that it's even harder to track where a message came from. Whenever I notice someone signing on through an obvious proxying service I summarily ban them, since it's 90% likely they're a troll and there is no legitimate need to post to this site through a proxy.

The Admin has spoken.

Banned.

 

At 15:14:29, TrustNo1 wrote:
Cypher? You there?

At 15:14:55, Anonymous Coward wrote:
This message is hidden because Anonymous Coward is on your ignore list.

At 15:15:29, aliengirl wrote:
Aaaaaaaand he’s outta here! Woo hoo! :D

 

 

Travis leaned back in his chair, a mixture of emotions filling his head.

 

Ok—Cypher was clearly a bit weird. Still—he seemed to be so sure. Maybe…

 

A pop-up appeared on Travis’ screen.

 

You have received a Personal Message from Cypher

 

What?

 

Travis clicked on the link. Seconds later a message popped up.

 

 

Only have a few minutes before that idiot Admin’s banning messes up the PM system for me.

 

You are the only person I’ve met who even semi-believes me.

 

Here’s the audio file—plus a few other odds and ends I’ve scraped together –scanned documents, newspaper clippings, e-mails, etc – that show that there’s more than meets the eye with these ‘alien benefactors’.

 

And that our illustrious ‘leaders’ KNOW them to be the scum that they are.

 

It’s not much—but it’s a start.

 

As for me—going to try a few more boards—but I don’t think I’ll get much more luck. Everyone seems to have fallen for the whole ‘Visitors are Our Friends’ BS.

 

Probably leaving a trail like crazy. Tried my best to hide it but you and I both know that you can’t hide from the government forever, eh?

 

Guess it’s time for me to find a nice quiet spot somewhere and hope that they don’t find me.

 

Good luck kid—keep the faith.

 

Keep digging.

 

The TRUTH is out there!

 

Believe.

 

- Cypher

 

 

Travis raised an eyebrow in confusion.

 

His story couldn’t be true…could it? I mean—the Visitors have been giving us all kinds of stuff.

 

Still—what was it he said about the Visitors being like Walmart?

 

Would you like to download the file? Yes or No?

 

Travis hesitated.

 

Cypher HAD to be nuts. Right? RIGHT? This was probably a virus or something…

 

Unless he spoke the truth…

 

For one long moment, Travis continued to hesitate.

 

Then he clicked ‘Yes’.

 

 

File downloading.

 

 

 

Download complete.

 

Travis clicked on the link—and listened to the tape –and read the documents.

 

 

Two hours later, Travis listened to the audio file for the thirty-seventh time and examined every square inch of the documents he printed out. He cross-referenced the newspaper clipping with stuff he found on the web and cross-referenced the documents –mostly pertaining to shipping and manufacturing orders of a wide assortment of materials and raw materials – and cross-referenced the names he read on the e-mails.

 

It was pretty thin.

 

The audio was crap—but there was quite a bit of discussion on it—and some of the voices were vaguely familiar.

 

The shipping and manufacturing orders checked out –but so what?

 

The e-mail names matched with various companies.

 

It was thin.

 

Very thin.

 

But still…

 

There was…something…there.

 

It wasn’t much – but some of the pieces came together in a way that made you go hmmmmm….

 

For the very first time in a very long time, Travis felt…alive.

 

He believed.

 

He believed….

 

~~

 

On to Chapter 6

 

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