Saving Private Human

Updated Sunday 15 May, 2011 12:18 PM

Saving Private Human

Is That An ICBM In Your Pants Or Are You Just Happy To See Us?

By David Atwell

Introduction

No sane person would have believed, in the latter half of the twentieth century, that the Human race was being spied upon from space. Uncannily, though, the great expansion of radio & television waves emitting from almost every corner of the planet had gained the attention of others. Just as a handful of Humans had begun listening to the galaxy for the faintest signal indicating intelligent life elsewhere, so too had the Humans been heard.

What our observers discovered, however, worried them. Like so many other civilisations, ours was not all that different. Most had their troubles although the Humans appeared to have them too along with plenty to spare. Yet there appeared to be many things which appealed to our observers. Having survived two world wars, a stability of some sort appeared to ensure that the Human race would mature into a race which would benefit their surrounding neighbours. But events at the beginning of the 1980s appeared to go amiss. Humans, it seemed, may not survive after all. So slowly & surely our observers made their plans to help us.

The Presidential Broadcast

It was President Reagan who started the Almost Third World War. Even though he claimed to be the great communicator, he was not all that knowledgable about media technology. When that red light on the television camera was on, it mean that you were being broadcasted, not that the President knew that fact. Nonetheless, Presidential broadcasts were usually error free, except on this particular day.

Reagan had called for a national television broadcast in response to the shooting down of a Korean Airlines flight by Russian fighter jets the day before. Only a few people knew what he was going to announce. It goes without saying, that to the incident, the international relationship between the Russians & Americans were at a low ebb. Many were hoping that, whatever Reagan said, some calm & stability would be established even if it meant some harsh rhetoric. Anything, as long as it was predictable.

Unfortunately, as the President settled himself, he did not realise that the live broadcast had already commenced. Whilst joking with his Chief-of-Staff Reagan announced to the nation & the world “We will commence bombing Russia in five minutes!”.

The Russians, of course, were watching Reagan’s broadcast & could not believe what they were hearing. Without waiting for his President’s order, the Russian Chief of Rocket Forces went on a war alert expecting the worse. Naturally the Russian alert was spotted by American spy satellites within a second & a flash warning was immediately sent to Washington.

A few seconds later Reagan, who was in total ignorance that his remarks were just heard on virtually every television & radio set world-wide, began what he thought was his actual broadcast: “My fellow Americans, I wish to talk with you today about…” at which point the American President was interrupted by an aid who could be seen whispering in his ear. Reagan, with a look of horror on his face, then blurted out “Oh Shit”, upon which the broadcast was immediately replaced by a test pattern.

It was a very unusual Presidential Address.

I Love The Smell Of A Nuclear Crisis In The Morning

What the television audience did not see was the President being hustled out of the White House & onto Marine One. The Presidential Helicopter immediately took off at high speed for Andrews Air Force Base, where Air Force One was already waiting. Obviously, it would take the President to some form of safety from nuclear attack. Regardless of the speed in which Reagan was transported to Air Force One, things had already advanced as per the military plans of the United States.

Strategic Air Command (SAC) had already gone on alert to the Russian threat. Although an order from the President was required to commence any attack on the USSR, the commander of SAC could nonetheless up the readiness of the American nuclear forces. Ignorant of the President’s address, all the SAC commander was concerned about was the fact that the Russians appeared to be ready to go to war. In response to the Russian’s actions, the American nuclear forces copied their Russian counterparts & went to DEFCON 2: one step away from war.

Like the Americans, the Russians had spy satellites too. These immediately saw the Americans go on alert with both their strategic bombers & ICBMs. Unlike the Russians, the Americans had also put their bombers on alert. As far as the Chief of Russian Rocket Forces knew, President Reagan’s announcement was now verified & the Americans would indeed commence their bombing anytime soon.

The President of the USSR, Andropov, had by now been moved to his so-called safe bunker not far from Moscow. Although it was far underground, the Americans had in fact targeted several large nuclear warheads at it. Most doubted, including Andropov, whether the bunker could survive a nuclear attack. Needless to say, such thoughts disappeared quickly under the current circumstances. Briefed by his generals & aids, Andropov held back from launching anything, but did order the submarines & bombers be brought up to war readiness to counter the American move.

By the time Reagan was aboard Air Force One, & was briefed on the situation, both the USSR & the USA were on the brink of annihilation. Everything was ready, as it had ever been, to destroy the other in a matter of 30 or so minutes. At this point the “hot phone” came into play with not too helpful dialogue between the two sides. The Russians had no trust in an American President who had just announced on live television that his country was about to bomb Russia & the Americans, by the very nature of their politics, had no trust at all in the Russians.

At least, though, a discussion was taking place between the two leaders & for a while it appeared that the crisis had reached its climax. But as these tense situations often cause accidents, such was about to happen. Unlike the American missiles, many of the Russian ones were not as advanced & used liquid instead of solid fuel. Although cheaper, the liquid fuelled missiles cannot be kept at stand-by alert & need to be fuelled prior to firing. Alas, because of the sudden alert, most of the USSR missiles were being rapidly fuelled as the “hot phone” discussions were taking place.

To the Americans observing the Russians, as they were busy fuelling their missiles, the talks between Andropov & Reagan appeared to several Presidential advisers as nothing more than a ploy to delay the American attack. This advice, given to Reagan, did not at all help the President who had been genuinely scared by the initial event back at the White House Presidential Address. As if that was not bad enough, the next event sent Reagan over the top.

Whilst fuelling their missiles in such a hurry, the Russians had by-passed many safety protocols. These were essential, but many of the crews truly believed that they were under attack. They had to get the missiles ready as soon as possible in order to ensure that they were not caught on the ground & destroyed by an incoming American attack. The result, however, was inevitable: one of the Russian missiles exploded. This inturn caused secondary explosions.

To the American observers, the explosion appeared, at first, to look like a missile launch. They immediately sent an alert to the President albeit they added that they were waiting confirmation. This was, however, far too much for Reagan who now believed that the Russians were trying to get in a sneak attack. Furthermore they would, according to Reagan’s reasoning, use their friends. “Keep an eye on Castro”, Reagan demanded. “I want to know the second the Cubans try something”.

Although his generals advised otherwise, Reagan was sure that Castro was involved in this. Reagan was not convinced & ordered that some missiles should be aimed at targets in Cuba along with the Soviet Union. It was only when NORAD announced that the Russian missile had exploded on the ground, & was not a launch, did things seem to settle down again. Nonetheless, Castro appeared to be doing nothing unusual. In fact all appeared to be normal on Cuba. This to Reagan, however, only proved that the Russians were up to something.

Whilst Reagan was being paranoid over the missile explosion, the same event was also noted in Moscow. Andropov was in no lessor mood than Reagan by this stage & assumed the worst. Either that or he thought that CIA operatives were blowing up his missiles on the ground. Whatever the case, he immediately ordered all the Russian military to full alert. Particular attention was given to the navy. Not only was it to guard the Russian missile submarines to the utmost, but they were ordered to hunt down all & any American submarines that they could find.

A similar order was sent out by Reagan, albeit for different circumstances. The exploding Russian missile had rattled even the military &, although they knew what had happened, the Russians were nevertheless ready to launch. The most dangerous attack, it was argued, could be exactly what Reagan was thinking: a sneak attack. Although launching a ground missile had no chance of achieving this, an attack by submarines could possibly achieve this result. After some discussion, Reagan ordered the US Navy to find & sink all Russian submarines.

So at around the same time, both countries began tracking the opposites submarines. Particular attention was given to the nuclear missile boats. But here the Americans had a great advantage. Their own submarines were beyond the detection of the Russians. The Russians, furthermore, did not share the same excellent detection gear or the silencing technology of the American Navy. Then there was the difference in tactics. American boats were often scattered around the worlds oceans, whilst the Russians concentrated theirs in the Artic Sea & the Northern Atlantic Ocean. It did not, thus, take long for the Americans to detect their first Russian customer.

The Almost Third World War

The skipper of the Russian Typhoon class ballistic missile submarine was a professional as ever there was one. Knowing all too well his orders, he had already gone quiet & stabilised his boat at launching depth. Unlike the Yankee & early Delta class ballistic missile submarines, the Typhoon could launch its deadly payload underwater like the American boats. This made detection close to impossible, but an equally professional American captain, on board the USS Omaha (Los Angeles class), had nonetheless discovered the Typhoon’s position.

What was worse for the Omaha was the fact that the Typhoon appeared ready for firing. Although the orders were to sink the Russian boat, nonetheless no official war orders had come through. It was all highly irregular & confusing. All the same, after some debate among the senior offices, the Omaha fired two ADCAP torpedoes at the Typhoon. At this point everything happened.

A few seconds after the Typhoon heard the firing of the torpedoes the nightmare began. The Typhoon’s captain, who was sitting & waiting for the American to make a move, clearly could not wait any longer. Under his rules of engagement, ones which were standard in the Soviet Navy, if under a nuclear alert & fired upon, he was to assume that the USSR was at war. Thus he had full authority, along with the support of the boat’s KGB Political Officer, to launch his missiles. Ironically it was an American operational procedure which the Russians had recently copied.

To the horror of the Omaha, the Typhoon began launching its twenty SS-N-20 missiles. By the time the ADCAP torpedoes hit the Russian boat, all twenty Soviet missiles had been launched. 200 nuclear warheads were on their way to the USA.

The Omaha was not the only one to know that missiles had been fired at the United States. NORAD immediately spotted the tell-tale signs of a sea launch. What was worse was the fact that unlike their ground launched cousins, the submarine launched ones, by the virtue that they were closer to their targets, would reach them within fifteen minutes. From what NORAD could determine, New York, Washington & several other east coast cities were soon to be destroyed.

Reagan now had no choice. He had to decide immediately. He thus typed into the “football” the necessary Presidential codes & attack orders. Unlike the Russians, there would be no sneak attack. It would be full on. Within a minute hundreds of missiles from the continental United States were launched towards their targets in the USSR. Soon thereafter, the American ballistic missile submarines likewise launched their nuclear tipped weapons. The Nuclear holocaust, which everyone prayed would never take place, had begun.

Such a large missile launch could, of course, not be hidden. By the time the last American missile had left the last submarine, Andropov ordered a full counterattack. Neither side really knew the circumstance as to how the war had started, but that did not matter now. Within two minutes, the Russians had fired off every available ground missile. The submarine based ones followed not long afterwards. Thousands of missiles now reached into the air. Ironically at some point they would harmlessly fly past each other over the Artic. To all intents & purposes, however, the Human race was doomed. And all because of a joke.

Missiles, Madmen & the Aurora Borealis

To those millions of Humans who watched, what they thought was their last minutes, that which happened next would change the entire globe. No. There was no nuclear holocaust, but what took place was earth shattering all the same. For those who saw it first hand, who for some macabre reason thought that watching their own destruction would be wondrous, & even for those who hid as best they could from the anticipated nuclear explosions, the sight that was seen was not that which was expected.

As time pasted, it seemed like each second took forever, the missiles began to reach the summit of their arch. Soon they would being their journey down towards their targets. Then destruction would follow. Those souls watching the skies were then witnessed the unusual. It appeared that a display of the Northern Lights had coincided with the launching of the missiles. Others, when seeing the display, thought that God was weeping Mankind’s destruction, whilst others thought that the Second Coming was at hand.

Those in NORAD never saw the Aurora Borealis. Instead they were busy watching their monitors analysing the data as it came in from various sources. Everything, sadly, appeared to be going as expected. The thousands of missiles being tracked behaved as the hundreds of scenarios had over the years. There appeared that nothing could save the Human race. Even Mount Cheyenne had been targeted by 10 missiles. They were probably big ones too, somewhere in the 25 megatonnage range.

Then one of the technicians at NORAD appeared to have gone made. Considering the stress that all of the NORAD personnel were under, it did not surprise anyone that the pressure had gotten to someone. He seemed to be going on about losing track of ‘his’ missiles. These were the first batch fired from the Typhoon. Maybe the Soviets had some ECM device until unknown a few of his fellow technicians offered as advice. But the madman was adamant that the missiles had been destroyed.

As far the NORAD technicians were concerned, though, whatever the madman had to say really did not matter. Given another fifteen minutes & it would not concern anyone if a few missiles had malfunctioned. The Russians had plenty of others to compensate for the loss. Then from around the control room came announcements of the unthinkable. Considering that the American missiles were launched in response of the Typhoon’s initial action, naturally they would hit before the bulk of the Russian ones did. But instead of continuing their mission as planned, just like the madman’s missiles, their missiles too began disappearing from their monitors. It appeared at first that the Russians had an effective missile defence system.

To add to the confusion, & needless to say the horror, more technicians began announcing what had started becoming common in the control room. More & more missiles disappeared for no apparent reason. The commander of NORAD thought, at first, that they had all gone mad. Chaos appeared thus to follow. Still the Commander managed to get his crew settled & ordered them to run various diagnostic tests. Nothing, however, was discovered to be malfunctioning. By the time the first Soviet launched missile was meant to destroy its target, all the missiles in flight, everyone one of them, thousands of them, regardless of side, had disappeared off the scope. There was no rational explanation.

As if in answer to NORAD’s questions, the US Defence Dept/NSA had two of their surveillance satellites, the old but venerable KH-11 & the modern KH-15, covering the Artic regions. These had been used to watch the missile launches & help in tracking their course. Whilst tracking the missiles, they had also noticed the Aurora Borealis. Immediately the analysis computers alerted the Human operators that something was wrong. Unlike previous collected data on the phenomenon, this Aurora Borealis was completely different.

Before anyone could do anything about this new data, the Soviet submarine launched missiles had already reached the Aurora Borealis barrier & all had been destroyed. Although this took place within a few seconds, the explosions were nonetheless recorded by KH-11. Thus the NSA operators were notified of the explosions. A minute later, more explosions were recorded. Using the numerous sensors on the advanced KH-15, the NSA personnel zoomed in on the location of the explosions. They managed to record the last few seconds of the destruction of the entire American ICBM attack force. Following the same fate, the American SLBMs suffered accordingly.

Not understanding what was happening, the NSA nonetheless ordered KH-11 & KH-15 to observe the incoming Soviet missiles. This next event they recorded in full. As the Russian missiles began to drop towards their respective targets, they began to enter the Aurora Borealis field. Almost immediately each & every missile entering the Aurora Borealis exploded without exception. After almost two minutes all the Russian missiles were space debris.

It seemed impossible but true. Every single nuclear armed missile that had been fired was now destroyed. Not only had the NSA’s own equipment told them this fact, but the live feed coming in from NORAD confirmed it too. No one, however, knew why it had happened, least of all NORAD. Only the NSA had witnessed the event, but the NSA was not necessarily a ‘link’ in the chain when it came to a nuclear holocaust: whether it be an aborted one or not. Nonetheless it had the data & this, the NSA decided, had to be phoned in.

Tantrums, Star Wars & Disneyland

In a similar fashion to the Americans, the various Soviet military agencies saw & recorded the same thing as their counterparts. Unlike the United States agencies, however, the Russian Intelligence services immediately informed the inner circle of Soviet leaders the situation. Andropov, who had been rather ill for the last year, flew into a rage. He could not believe that all his missiles had been destroyed. Unfortunately, due to his temper tantrum, Andropov had both a stroke & heart attack & died almost instantly.

The Russian leadership was thus in chaos as Andropov’s deputy had not been informed about the current emergency. This took place by the very fact that, regardless that he was formally second in command of the Soviet Union, informally it was a hollow office with no real power. Furthermore the Soviet Deputy Chairman was with his mistress at his private dacha on the shores of the Black Sea. It was about the one & only privilege which he truly enjoyed. He had left orders not to be disturbed for any reason. Thus it took those in the Soviet Presidential bunker 24 hours n order to find the location of Andropov’s deputy.

President Reagan, on the other hand, suffered no heart attack or stroke, but could not comprehend what had taken place. After NORAD informed him of the destruction of all the missiles, NSA called & confirmed NORAD’s claims. After NSA played their recordings Reagan had clearly lost it. He wanted to know why NSA were playing scenes from Star Wars when there was a war going on. He hence became convinced that the KGB had somehow taken over the NSA & were deliberately trying to fool him. This was besides that fact that everyone else on Air Force One knew well & truly that it could only be the bona fide NSA. And if that was not bad enough, the next incoming call ensured that Reagan lost the plot entirely.

From out from Heaven, or so it seemed, a booming voice came. Overriding all radio & television channels, this voice could be heard everywhere. Nonetheless, thousands of annoyed viewers & listeners phoned their respective stations complaining about the sudden change in programming. Instead of taking notice of the greatest event to take place in Human history, they were far more interested in how they were going to die. Still, that did not stop the voice from announcing their presence to the world. Even Air Force One heard the voice on every available frequency.

For President Reagan, however, this was just more proof that the KGB had taken over & were now out to get him. Ranting & raving, Reagan went on about how the Russians were taking over the world. That was until his Secretary of State, George Shultz, told Reagan that “… the whole thing was an April Fools joke which Nancy [Reagan] had planned.”

Thankfully for Shultz, Nancy Reagan was in New York so she could not confirm or deny what Shultz was saying. Shultz, nevertheless continued; “Now that the joke is out we’re to fly off to Disneyland, meet up with Nancy, & then see Mickey Mouse & the gang.” Alexander Haig, Secretary of Defence, caught onto what Shultz was doing & confirmed that he was in on Nancy’s plan as well. Apart from the fact that it was not April, the President (who by now had lost all touch with reality), nonetheless believed Shultz & settled down for the rest of the imagined flight to California.

Meanwhile, the Chief of Staff Howard Baker had a look of horror on his face by Shultz’s actions, but a quick glance from both Shultz & Haig told Baker to stay out of it. Similarly the Chairman of the military Chiefs could not believe what had just taken place in front of him. For all intents & purposes a coup d’etat had just occurred. He was going to voice his opposition, but then he glanced upon Reagan’s face. Only then did he realise that the President was no longer fit for his duties. He did not need to be told about the 25^th Amendment of the Constitution.

Shultz, after Reagan seemed to have settled down, then had a hushed conversation with Haig to decide what was next. “Hell if I know George. You were the bright spark who mentioned Mickey Mouse & all that. By the look of him, though, if you told him I was Daffy Duck he’d believe it.”

After a few more hushed words, Reagan asked Baker, then the others, what was going on. Shultz turned around & almost melted when he peered into his President’s eyes. Swallowing hard he said “I’m just going to phone Nancy & tell her that we’re on the way.” He immediately left to find a secure phone. Shultz thus contacted Vice-President Bush, now located at the Mount Weather Presidential Facility some 400 metres underground, to inform him of the immediate situation.

Put Down Your Guns

As per the alien’s request, the world’s leaders, especially the new leader of the Soviet Union, one Mikhail Gorbachev, & the likewise new US President, George Bush, had arrived at the United Nations headquarters at New York. It was here, with the entire world present, where the aliens would physically meet with the representatives of the peoples of the Earth. So far, no Human knew what they looked like as all announcements & discussions had so far been in audio. This, however, was about to change.

At the set time, a small shuttle could been seen in the sky. Looking similar to what something humans could build, it flew no different than an aircraft, but then it began to hover. Soon it slowly & smoothly lowered until it had settled at the front of the UN Building. Television cameras & reporters crammed around to get the best picture of the alien shuttle. Along with them were civilian crowds in the thousands. No. They were in the hundreds of thousands: the Peoples of Earth had come to see at first hand the aliens.

These people had ignored the orders of the military who wanted no one, except authorised personnel, anywhere near the UN building. Still the military had turned up loaded with everything which they could think of: from tanks & SAM carriers to heavily armed infantry. Many of the leaders present complained at the presence of the military. President Bush, however, refused to budge on the issue. President Castro, watching the ongoing arguments develop against Bush, simply smiled along with a cigar in his mouth, whenever the American President looked in his direction. Castro was truly enjoying the moment.

The shuttle powered down & the main door began to open. The crowd went silent while the troops readied their weapons. All was quiet as the tension rose. Then, at the appropriate moment, a human looking figure appeared at the door. At first no one knew what to say or do. Then the figure walked down the shuttle’s ramp to the footpath & the television cameras captured the figure in detail. To everyone it appeared that a human actor called Henry Winkler, known for his character “The Fonz”, had arrived.

President Bush mumbled aloud “What the f…”. Castro burst out laughing as did several other leaders. Gorbachev, who overheard Bush’s comment & had become alarmed, wanted to know what was going on as did several others. The Prime Minister of Australia wanted to know if it was April Fools Day. Many in the military did not know whether to relax or shoot the alien. The Fonz Alien, however, ignored the commotion & walked straight towards a stunned President Bush & the other leaders.

“Mr President, Mr Chairman, Leaders of Earth, you must forgive my appearance” The Alien Fonz announced. “We thought that a familiar friendly face would ensure a peaceful meeting.” The real Henry Winkler (the actor who portrayed the “Fonz”), whilst watching this event on television, thought otherwise & instructed his lawyer to commence legal proceedings immediately. The US Supreme Court later threw out the case based upon a technicality: the plaintiff could not provide which jurisdiction & thus who’s law had been breached by the aliens taking the form of the Fonz.

Before the meeting could, though, even get under way, there was still more to take place on the steps of the UN Building. Clearly this show before the television cameras was meant to send a message to the world. The meeting itself would be a mere polite formality. “Mr President, there is no need for all these guns. I can help you here. Heyyyy!” And with that famous Fonz signature, a snap of his fingers, all the barrels of the rifles (& those of the other weapons present) bent over at a sharp angle making them impotent.

“That’s better” said the Alien Fonz. “Oh, and all of your nuclear weapons have been disarmed as well. The same goes for the British, French, Chinese, Israelis, South Africans & a few others who have theirs well hidden: or so they thought”.

Next the Alien Fonz walked for the front door of the UN Building. After a few seconds, whilst the minds of the Human leaders raced along trying to figure out their various plans & counter plans, a small number of them began to follow the Alien. Soon, only Bush & Gorbachev remained standing where they were. “It is a cold day comrade President” observed Gorbachev.

“Cold indeed Mr Chairman” Bush replied.

After a few seconds of silence, “Looks like the end of history as comrade Marx once predicted”, Gorbachev quietly offered.

“For you & me - yes it is”, Bush said missing Gorbachev’s effort at irony. Bush, though, continued on seriously, “But I hope it’s a bright new future for us all.”

Gorbachev grunted in agreement. After a few quiet seconds, the Russian leader playfully said, “Come. After this circus I give you a personal tour of the Kremlin. Being old spy, that should cheer you up! And then we toast to world peace: da?”

“Da! With iced vodka Mikhail” laughed the last American President.

From The Cradle To The Somewhat Just Passible

The aliens, who had stopped Humanity wiping out all life on Earth, came from the planet Corvus. Roughly translated Corvus means Crow. Corvus is 108 light years from Earth. But it was not from this distant world where the Corvus had heard of the Humans. This occurred at a much closer planet, at a mere 20 light years from Earth, called Hydrii (which basically means Water Snake). The Corvus, though, were not the only aliens around.

Dozens of alien species soon arrived on Earth. Some appeared similar to humans, in fact a few could even pass as human, whilst others were different albeit still humanoid. The Corvus, once they deemed that they no longer needed to appear like television characters, revealed themselves. Most humans wondered why the Corvus bothered with the illusion. They were humanoid in appearance, & although they were clearly alien, few humans thought twice about their looks. After many years of science fiction, especially in cinemas & on television shows, the appearance of real aliens had become an anti-climax.

As a result, mankind quickly settled into this brave new world which humans found themselves in. Contrary to previous opinions, there was no culture shock or world-wide upheavals. Instead, most humans wanted to know as much as possible about the galaxy around them. The aliens, however, restricted human space travel for now, although they did wet the human appetite for knowledge by telling mankind about the wonders of the galaxy.

It was very different to what most science-fiction authors had imagined. In fact it was a very peaceful & tolerant galaxy with many civilisations out there. The one, which surround Earth, was known as the United Interstellar Commonwealth (UIC). It was completely democratic with a mix of both representative & participatory politics. It had a flourishing economy, although the profit motive was not the leading reason to conduct business. Environmental controls were harsh, but then again these advanced societies had managed their planets extremely well.

The Corvus, an old civilisation, was a foundation member of the UIC & greatly influenced it. Humans, in comparison, were children. The Corvus, whilst watching humanity for hundreds of years, had nonetheless come to like humans, even though the two species were in effect opposites. Fundamentally, the Corvus were tolerant, patient & placed life above all else. Humans were anything but this; they were ignorant, impatient & life seemed expendable: or so it appeared that way to the Corvus.

Slowly, but surely, the Homo Sapiens began to change. Classified as Sapiens by the UIC, instead of Humans, thousands of alien advisers patiently instructed Sapiens everywhere in what would be expected of them. Several steps had to be taken even before Sapiens would be given various technologies such as Faster Than Light travel. Ironically, Sapiens had already begun to discover the basics of this technology, much to the surprise of the UIC, but they were still centuries away from making it work. The UIC, however, would give such technology to the Sapiens once they had proven themselves worthy of such things.

The first fundamental change to Earth was politics. The UN was transformed into a federal government. The United Federation of Earth was headquartered in New York City & Geneva in Switzerland. In many respects it mirrored the UN which it replaced, but it had full legislative, executive & judicial powers. Alien advisers supervised the new body, called EarthGov by the locals, & did what they could to make it successful.

That was not to say that there were not problems. There were many at first. For instance it took an entire year to agree to an anthem. “It sounds like someone farting” was a the critique of an Australian member of Earth Congress. “Why can’t we get U2 to write it?” asked an Irish Member. “And maybe they could bring back Elvis too you idiot!” came a reply which was met with much laughter. The numerous arguments, not to mention the energy put into the anthem debates, amazed the Alien advisers who could not understand what all the fuss was about. It seemed ridiculous that far more important issues such as health & education were dealt with in a few hours whilst agreement over an anthem took forever.

Similar arguments took place over an Earth flag. Statements such as “The design is so abstract it may as well represent a dog’s breakfast” were common place. In a similar vane “The flag should look like red tape as it’s the only constant in the universe”. In the end, the design went to the winner of a public competition. The only problem was that 250 million submissions went into the competition. After a year of arguing about it in the Earth Congress, it took another year to go through the designs. Finally, after three years, Earth got its flag. The Alien advisers wondered if trying to do their job was next to the impossible.

Changing ones ways, of cause, is far from easy. Old habits die hard. It took until 1995 before the UIC believed that things had changed sufficiently enough in Sapiens behaviour to permit them various technologies. Membership of the Commonwealth would be, though, a different mater. But for now, Sapiens could wonder around their region of space, which was rather large. Only Hydrii was inhabited in Earth’s region & it would act as the entry point into the UIC for Sapiens. Thus passports & visas were required & the number of Sapiens were limited. Furthermore, some Sapiens were rejected entry for various reasons.

Nonetheless, Earth was independent & could do whatever it wished, provided they did not encroach upon the territories of other civilisations including the UIC. Thus numerous scout ships left Earth to explore space. Many marvellous sights were seen for the first time up close. New solar systems were discovered, all of which were void of life however. That, though, did not stop small colonies being established at several locations, including Mars & Alpha Centauri. After five such years of peaceful expansion, Sapiens were offered to join the UIC. The Corvus were impressed at how quickly Mankind had improved: or so they believed.

The Sapiens Are Loose!

“The biggest mistake, which the UIC ever made, was allowing Homo Sapiens to join it”, was the opinion of the Eridani Premier at the Commonwealth Parliament. He went on, “Contrary to the observations of the Corvus, Sapiens are still far too immature to comprehend & respect alien cultures, traditions, not too mention the differences in appearance.” Many others agreed. Nonetheless they were too late.

It seemed that the Sapiens at home might be well behaved, but once on foreign ground their behaviour changed. Still, within a year of admittance, Sapiens could be found in all corners of the UIC. They were into everything, regardless of its legality. As if that was not bad enough, those Sapiens who had been elected to the Commonwealth Parliament, began pushing for reforms. Many Eridani considered these reforms to be pointless, illogical, retarded &/or unenlightened to say the very least.

Although the Eridani did not hate Sapiens, they still had put up with them. They were the first who had become inundated with Sapiens by the very fact that, due to their location, they & Sapiens were neighbours (Hydrii was a UIC colony). At first the Eridani thought that 39 light years was enough to keep Sapiens numbers limited, but the Eridani soon wished that it was 39 000 light years instead. And as more & more Sapiens arrived, for all sorts of reasons, clashes between members of each specie soon began.

The Eridani were not the only ones rethinking UIC policy on Sapiens. The Cnc were also worried about the impact of Sapiens upon the UIC. Like the Eridani, the Cnc had gained a large influx of Sapiens. Like the Eridani, the Cnc were also neighbours of Earth, being 41 light years away. Again, like the Eridani, Sapiens began to flood their planet. Although the Cnc were pure pacifists, clashes did take place, but remained low in number. That did not mean to say, however, that they liked what was happening.

It was change. And the Corvus knew that change was required. All the members of the UIC had become far too complacent as far as the Corvus were concerned. In fact most of the species had never left their respective planet, let alone region of space. Only the Corvus really treated the UIC as a real Commonwealth. The others enjoyed the peace & trade, but contributed little else. But now came the Humans & everything was changing. It was just that the Corvus never told anyone else about their plan.

Eventually, however, the Corvus plan was revealed in the Commonwealth Parliament, by an angry Eridani Premier, in early 2003 (Sapiens calendar). He argued that the Corvus deliberately pushed the entry of Sapiens into the UIC for “nefarious reasons”. The Corvus leader, though, rejected the “nefarious reasons” part, but did confess that the Sapiens entry into the UIC was deliberately planned. They wanted fresh young blood to revitalise the Commonwealth & to turn it into a real one. The Sapiens members were not overly impressed with the Corvus attempts at manipulation, but most of the Sapiens public could not care less. There were far more important things to do.

Biography

Texts

Baker, D. The Hamlyn Guide to Astronomy, London, 1978

Bowles, N. The Government & Politics of The United States, London, 1993

Clancy, T. Submarine, London, 1993

Hitchner, D. G. & Harbold, W. H. Modern Government, New York, 1972

Lyon, H. Modern Warships, Sydney, 1980

Miller, D. The World’s Navies, New York, 1992

Ridpath, I, The Illustrated Encyclopedia of Astronomy & Space, New York, 1979

Thernstrom, S. A History of the American People Vol II, New York, 1984

Internet

Derall, G. & DiGiulian, T. Warships1, (http://www.warships1.com/)

Schneider, J. The Extrasolar Planets Encyclopedia (http://www.obspm.fr/encycl/encycl.html)

Federation of American Scientists (http://www.fas.org/index.html)

Global Security (http://www.globalsecurity.org/military/index.html)

Planet Quest (http://planetquest.jpl.nasa.gov/)

Planetary Society, (http://www.planetary.org/)

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