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Superfluous Scripture by Raymond Speer
 Author
says: what if the mysterious Q document was discovered which includes
the sayings re-purposed in the synaptic gospels according to the Two Source
Theory? Please note that the opinions expressed in this post do not
necessarily reflect the views of the author(s).
In 2004, December 12th:
Karol Wojtyla aka Pope John Paul II had a locked box brought to a
conference room, and he opened it to Josef Ratzinger.
"Unless you are considerably better than I am in Greek contaminated with
Aramaic slang," said the Pope, "I recommend that you start with the
typescripts in the pouch. They are the Italian, French, German, and Spanish
translations of the original documents, which have been stored in the
Vatican for two millennia".
Ratzinger touched the papers with hesitation. "You mean, those parchments
are the papers used by the Apostles as sources for the Gospels? The fabled Q
Documents".
Unconsciously, the ill pontiff let a line of drool run down his left chin.
Without asking, Ratzinger took a hankie and cleaned the mishap. "The Vatican
Libraries are truly amazing. It is a shame that so much of it is to be kept
confidential".
"These papers, what do they add to the story of our Lord?"
 "You
learn his favorite meal was corn and barley soup; at every sermon, Jesus
insisted that his audience adopt stray animals like dogs and cats and tend
to them kindly, and that Jesus read Greek fluently and patronized libraries
where he read Plato and Aristotle and Caesar. There are even a couple of
book reviews written by the Lord Jesus himself".
"Astonishing," exclaimed Ratzinger.
His hand involuntary shaking and jerking, John Paul II pointed to a
particular page.
"And here Jesus organizes his disciples for his coming death. And Jesus
says: decisions shall be made by Mary Magdalene and Simon Peter after
conference and due deliberation, and when Simon and Mary disagree, there
shall be no action performed".
""Oh. my God," exclaimed Ratzinger.
"The Q Document makes plain that women are to be priests and in fact, Jesus
has made multiple women priests and he expressly approves them as his
agents, stating that women are equal to men and that their periods are
unimportant".
Pope John Paul II slumped in his chair. "There is much more," said the Pope.
"Gregory XVI wrote a private dissertation on some statements Jesus made
about all men having an obligation to supply children for the next
generation, and Gregory's essay is passed down with the Q Documents to every
Pope thereafter".
Ratzinger smiled ruefully. "So Jesus says, have children, and some Pope
added a postscript in favor of celibacy".
Ratzinger said: "It will go hard with the church if this ever gets out".
"I agree," said John Paul II. "The night that John Paul I died in his bed
was when he was given the Q Documents to read. "
"Josef," said John Paul II sombrely, "I expect that you will be the next
Pope. If you admit what the Q Documents say, you will admit that Jesus never
intended celibacy or the limitation of the priesthood to males.
Next to those admissions, who cares about triflles like Mary remarrying
twice after Joseph died?"
"I understand," said Ratzinger. And he has not said a word about it since
then.
Author
says Wikipedia
reports - the Two-Source Hypothesis (or 2SH) is an explanation for the
synoptic problem, the pattern of similarities and differences between the
three Gospels of Matthew, Mark, and Luke. It posits that the Gospel of
Matthew and the Gospel of Luke were based on the Gospel of Mark and a lost,
hypothetical sayings collection called Q.. To view guest historian's
comments on this post please visit the
Today in Alternate History web site.
Raymond Speer, Guest Historian of
Today in Alternate History, a Daily
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